Whipping bunnies

Whipping bunnies by Ian Woolf and Peter Eisler

"If not chocolate, life around here is astonishingly like lamington."
-- Damien Broderick 1977

The meeting opened with the news that John Brunner, E. Whitemoore,
Pierre Barbet and Michael Ende ended and that Greg Egan didn't win a
Hugo. Harlan Ellison will be at the Power House Museum in February;
questions about the ransom will be asked.

Graham Stone showed us an article written by Jadwiga Jarvis in the
Australian Bookcollector October 1995 issue, page 24. Graham was very
proud of the description Jarvis gave of his character and values.
Graham also showed us a copy of the Canberra Science Fiction Society
Inc. newsletter he'd read, which he described as being one of those
magazines read only by those who put it together.

"Our second-hand culture may be dull, and anxious to remain dull, but
the implosions and exhalations of radical change are seldom contained
for long by the strictures of rule-book efficiency experts."
-- Damien Broderick 1977

Brian Wall explained that the Dallas Option had been taken by the
makers of the new movie Aliens 4, to loud sounds of derision from all.

Ian revealed that "The Sydney Morning Herald" reported on Elvish
interference with road building in Iceland. Roadworks were stopped when
large stones that were said to be the homes of local Elves were
reached. A medium was brought in to negotiate with the Elves, and
permission was granted to move the stones, as long as no explosives
were used. In a world-first, the Elves condescended to be interviewed
through the agent of the medium on Iceland radio. Ian described an
Icelandic survey which showed that 10% of Icelandic folk believed in
Elves, 10% denied their existence, and 80% refused to say, in case the
Elves were listening. A cultural comparison was drawn to the New
Zealand belief in the mystic powers of the All-Blacks.

"If a son asks for bread, the odds are high indeed that his father will
give him a stone (or a lamington)."
-- Damien Broderick 1977

More on mules was discussed, as it has been one of the enduring threads
of Futurian discussion. Ian reported that only one mule couple has
reproduced successfully in all of recorded history; as reported in
Strange Magazine 1988. This was because, while horses have 24
chromosomes, and donkeys have 22 chromosomes, mules have only 23
chromosomes - of course. This is not sufficient to produce a viable
offspring by current understanding of genetics; an even number is
required. Gary then expounded on his theories of cross-species mating.
He revealed intimate knowledge of attempted experiments between apes
and humans. He explained that closely related species could mate in
such a way that one species' chromosomes were recessive. After such a
hybrid was born, it would look like an ordinary ape. When another
adventurous human tried rishathra, the offspring could be a human.
These genetic combinations may explain certain nightclubs frequented by
some of our members. This may also explain parthenogenesis in certain
lizards, claimed Gary. They may have bred with the other-species lizard
next door, thus attaining sufficient chromosomes to continue to
reproduce without male assistance. Gary tried too illustrate his theory
with drawings and a flashing red light. Further speculation was deemed
unsafe.

"Australian science fiction? Yes indeed. Warm-blooded, clawed and
billed, it hatches and suckles its young, glides daringly from
eucalyptus trees...Alas it carries a Qantas ticket in its pouch."
-- Damien Broderick 1977

Forking kangaroo genitalia once again raised their heads. An episode of
Quantum seen by three of our members had depicted koalas being milked
for semen. A close-up clearly revealed the pronged nature of their
genitals. This led to the confirmation of the bifurcated genitals of
marsupial, and by extrapolation to kangaroos. Graham then fondly
reminisced about the times he had watched kangaroos mating, and had
never seen any evidence of forked penises. However, he had observed
that they had curves like a teapot, which he mused may have functioned
to get around the obstacle of the tail. Thus continued the
long-standing debate.

Ron Clarke idly pondered aloud the topic for next months meeting, and
was surprised to be met with overwhelming cries of "TREES!".

Ian announced the arrival of living fridge magnets on the market.
Graham then suggested that this idea could be extended to venus
flytraps, and then proceeded to lecture Ian on the topic, until Ian
explained that he had cultivated carnivorous plants for ten years and
had a few hundred at home.

The OzCon memory book was hawked to raise money to recover debts from
the last convention. Looking at the photos from a couple of decades
ago, it became obvious that Eric Lindsay has the secret of eternal
youth and Ron Clarke doesn't.

Brian Wall showed us Exposure magazine and Nexus magazine, both of
which had as cover stories the Fake Moon Landing. Peter added that the
Weekly World News had covered the same story recently. Eric opined that
this was all the result of the movie "Capricorn One". Ian explained
that the hoax was to cover up the real moon landing. This led to
discussion of pyramids on Mars and whether they kept razor blades
sharp. It was suggested that pyramidal razor sharpening was responsible
for the ancient Egyptian fashion of fake beards. All eyes turned to
Peter.

Gary recommended the "Bloomsbury Good Reading Guide to Science Fiction
and Fantasy" by the strangely named Zool. It was pointed out that the
author had a minor role in Ghostbusters. The entry for L.Ron Hubbard's
work had everybody in stitches. He suggested the Futurians should put
together a similar guide to Australian content. Thus the topic of
Images of Australia in Science Fiction literature was begun.

"Australian science fiction? Sometimes the flow is blocked; sometimes
it runs uphill to greener pastures; sometimes it gurgles into the sand
and leaves little trace."
-- Damien Broderick 1977

First up, George Turner was mentioned, his latest book is "Genetic
Soldier" but nobody had read his books so nobody knows how he depicts
Australia. Cordwainer Smith (alias Paul Linebarger, author of the
military textbook "Psychological Warfare" and advisor to President
Kennedy) depicted Australia invaded by a Chinese Empire after seeding a
colony world with Old North Australian culture and becoming rich from
an immortality drug manufactured from giant sick sheep, and protected
by psychic mad minks.

"Mutant Message Down Under" was murmured by many people but nobody knew
what it was about or who wrote it. Gabriel Lord's "Salt" was mentioned
but nobody had read it.

Richard Lupoff's "Space War Blues" features Aboriginal spacemen
genetically tailored to survive in vacuum. "The Exromantine War" by
Gary's High School History teacher described a future where a plague
had made reproduction by placental animals impossible. Scientists
develop a marsupial male human who is irresistible to women - of
course.

Jonathon Swift's "Gulliver's Travels" included coordinates for Lilliput
that places it in the Nullabor Plain. Robert Heinlein in the Roads Must
Roll features an Australian ambassador who is depicted as a white
racist. John Wyndham's "The Chrysalids" mentions New Zealand as a
mutant haven. The Futurians were becoming desperate for literary
references.

Greg Egan in "Quarantine" depicts a New Hong Kong colony being set up
in the Northern Territory, and an East Coast where everybody is black,
with artificial aid if necessary. In "Permutation City", Sydney is
still pocked with great gaping holes from incomplete construction
projects in the 21st century.

A. Bertram Chandler in his "Rim Worlds" novels features a Melbourne
Port Authority that is the central spaceport on Earth, and a galaxy
full of place names taken from Australian and British suburbs, such as
the Empire of Waverly.

Zeitgeist, a collection of Australian science fiction stories selected
by Damien Broderick; was agreed to be an example of awful Australian
science fiction published in 1977. The collection includes a story by
G. M Glaskin about ferocious man-eating sheep called "The Inheritors".

Fred Astaire played a nuclear physicist at the end of the world in a
movie set in Melbourne, based on the novel "On the Beach" by Nevil
Shute. This led us inevitably to Australia as depicted in science
fiction films.

"We all press our mouths to the grease-nipple; for us, pity and terror
are newly shaped, and can benefit from new means of expression."
-- Damien Broderick 1977

"The Quiet Earth", a New Zealand post-apocalyptic film about immortal
survivors of the explosion of the sun. "Mad Max" and its sequels
feature a post-apocalyptic petrol-hungry Australia. "Salute to the
Jugger" is an post-apocalyptic movie depicting an Australia obsessed
with gladiatorial ball-games. "The Time Guardian" depicted a
time-travelling city that spent some time in Australia.

"Tank Girl" once again featured marsupial males who were irresistible
to women for reasons we'd rather not go into again. "Tank girl" exists
as both a post-apocalyptic British comic series and an American film
adaption.

"...(the scent of a primer, after all, is the early morning promise of
a bright moon)..."
-- Damien Broderick 1977
(or as the Americans later translated these words "I love the smell of
napalm in the morning.")

"Stark" by Ben Elton exists both as a novel and a television
adaptation. It is set in present-day Australia, with conspiracies by
wealthy West-Australian businessmen. Apparently "The Amtrack Wars"
mention Australia in passing in the books but not the video adaptation.
A Japanese empire looks down on Australians because of our distance
from their holy island.

"One last lamington as envoi."
-- Damien Broderick 1977

It was noted that there is much juvenile Australian science fiction
around, particularly in TV series. Patricia Wrightson's "Nargun and the
stars" has been adapted to a TV series. "Andra" was compulsory viewing
in some high schools in the 1980's.

"The sf writer's job is to startle and amaze his readers by whipping
unexpected - but not gratuitous - bunnies out of the hat."
-- Damien Broderick 1977