Treed by Russell

Treed by Russell by Ian Woolf and Peter "Kar" Eisler

The meeting opened with science fiction related news from everyone
around the table. Ian related a technical report published on the
World Wide Web called "Fun with Grapes". You must cut white seedless
grapes in half, put them flat side down on a microwave-safe plate, and
put into a microwave oven on high temperature for 20 seconds. Ian then
described the results and encouraged the members to further
experiments. Ron claimed that peas reacted in a similar manner.
However independent scientific tests disproved this completely. The
speedy aging of wine in microwave ovens was mentioned by Mark. Ian also
reports that Urigeller has sunk to a new low by appearing in bendy
spoon Yoghurt ads.

New Scientist reports on a proposed experiment to test for parallel
universes. It was generally agreed that the experiment should
definitely be performed, and that Schroedinger's Quantum Veterinary
clinic should then be opened. This led to discussion of the escape of
the calicivirus rabbit killing virus in Australia ; to which the
Commonwealth Government reaction is to a consider deliberate release so
they don't look so dumb. There were also reports of evolutionary
atavism in the laboratory - scientists are inducing throwbacks to
earlier body parts in experimental animals. Star Wars fans and
Creationists are believed to be at large in the population. The Gnomes,
Elves and Little Men's Chowder and Marching society was discussed.

As a follow up to the Icelandic Elf survey, Peter reported that a US
survey shows that 2 out of 3 people in the USA believe in Satan, while
1 in 3 believe they have been personally tempted by Satan. Among the
works that people believe Satan has been personally responsible for
are: the Oklahoma city bombing, the spread of pornography, and the rise
of Gay rights.

Peter stole Mark's thunder by reporting that Galaxy bookshop had a
surprize dawn raid by Alan Dean Foster, who then autographed all his
books. This prompted the riddle: "How do you know when Alan Dean Foster
has broken into your home? All your books have been signed!" Peter
further noted "You've got to worry when you find that your Bible has
been autographed."

Brian Walls Reported that Ozcon was coming up. There will be a dinner
for Harlan Ellison somewhere between 4 -7 January 1996 organized by the
Powerhouse museum and Dymoks during writers week in first week of
January. Brian reported upcoming Infinitas bookshop SF meeting. The
Sydney Morning Herald had a "Horror Ditmar" headline. The movie "Island
of Lost Souls" features a whip from Australia - no bunnies, but banned
for sex scenes. He also mentioned an HG wells movie called "Unknown"
featuring an armless knife thrower with Lon Chaney. British copyright
has been extended to now cover 70 years after an author's death, as
opposed to the old limit of fifty years.

Graham Stone reported of Sirius zine "If I write for it, it must be
good.", the price is now up to $7.95. Peter calculated that Graham's
contribution would cost you 70 cents. A new magazine he'd been sent was
Body Dabbler - Australian Crime fiction. Graham noticed that the
previous meeting featured a "Mysterious Nexus appearance" claimed to be
owned by Nobody.

Ron declared "Come to the Lugarno meeting - its mostly women, Brad is
the only regular male in attendance."

The Melbourne 24 hours SF movie marathon was warned to be planned to be
on Saturday 9th December, by now you have missed it. Rocky Horror has a
Summer bikini theme the week before, you missed that one also, it was
very good. However Xmas Rocky will be held on the 22nd December, but
you'll probably have missed that one too. You missed Macquariecon also,
which was announced at the meeting. (You ARE getting slow!)

Gary reports Roswell Alien autopsy film features Basenji-style injury,
however Gary refused to reveal publically if the Basenji yodel. Private
revelations on the matter have been supressed in the name of good
taste. Entertainment Tonight said that Fox rabbitted on about their
own Roswell tape for sale. Fox had Will Riker doing his Orson Wells
impressions for the voice-overs.

"Roots, trunks and leaves - thats a tree." Tonight's topic was opened
by noting the contribution trees had made to science fiction in the
form of paper. A moment of silence was held.

Brian Walls had a flash that he'd read Alien Earth by Edmund Hamilton.
A Westerner goes to a Vietnam village and takes a wonder drug that
slows his metabolism so that he see trees as revolting monsters.

Ron extended his muting from mules to trees by announcing the end of
the meeting just as Peter was about to read his carefully prepared
speech. Some of these references are from that speech.

The Saliva Tree by Brian Aldiss - at the end of time a giant tree
grows to the moon, all that survives on Earth are plants and a few
people. Nobody was able to explain the saliva reference.

Genocides by Thomas Disch - aliens sow seeds on Earth, trees grow
uncontrollably destroying civilisation as we know it. Aliens clean out
all of humanity except root dwellers. Who then die during the harvest.
An uplifting book.

Destiny Doll by Clifford Simak - conifer grid shoots encoded nuts at things.

Broken worlds by Poul Anderson features worlds in a black hole with
people living on heat-engine trees "screw your way into space".

Alan Dean Foster wrote and probably signed Midworld - A Human
ex-commonwealth forest world where the forest alters humans
genetically. Also Green Thieves - daring exploits of criminal trees.

The Stone God Awakens by Phillip Jose Farmer- man sleeps, man wakes,
man fights big tree.

Copernicus Rebellion by Leo Frankowski features tree hosues and
mosquito larvae that eat iron.

Millenium Tree by Kevin ODonnel Jnr features teleporting sentient cacti
in a religious war. Far galaxy picks up human DNA in radio broadcast
and reassembles them onto super massive trees living on asteroids with
atomic drives providing light and thrust.

Seeds from Space by Lawrence Manning (1935) may have inspired Trffids
playboy parasite nonentity gets hit by seeds that grow into intelligent
mobile trees NOT called Russell.

Planet Entity by Clarke Ashton Smith, - vine like plant on Mars decides
to "Branch out" to Earth.

Seeds of the Dust by Raymond Z Galoon - Earth is cold, human
descenbdants bug out to Venus, until Martian trees stop them.

Legion of Space by Jack Williamson -- band shot down and land on a
giant log, monstor amoeba on other end pursues them in the worlds
slowest chase scene. This scene was described to the meeting for longer
than the actual events in the book.

Beyond this Horizon by Robert Heinlein - General Sherman Tree (sequoia)
is head of subversives.

Branch lines by James Blish has crystal vibes in tree for FTL
communication.

Son of Tree by Jack Vance - carnivorous agave tree God

Xenocide by Orson Scott Card - aliens kill child and plant a tree in
her corpse to be friendly.

The Word for World is Forest by Ursula K. Le Guin - Hainish tree novel

The Day of the Triffids by John Wyndham - slapping good tree yarn

Relic of Empire by Larry Niven - genetically engineered trees save the
day.

West of Eden by Harry Harrison smart dinosaurs live in tree cities

The Bride and the Beast by Ed Wood featured a headline "110 000 Chinese
living in trees."

(movie Terminator Tree ruled out as too silly)

Process by A E Van Vogt intelligent trees cope with human intrusions.

Douglas Adams Hitchhikers Guide series featured leaves as currency,
trees as military bases (potentially), and a sentient bowl of
petunias.

Krugg syndrome by A. McAllister - man is convinced he is the spearhead
of alien invasion of trees.

Spider World by Colin Wilson - alien tree topples human civilsation and
replaces it with spiders.

Earthgrip by Harry Turtledove - Sherlockian logic solves dying tree mystery

Garbage Chronicles by Brian Herbert features mobile vegetable
intelligences

Shade of the Tree by Piers Anthony - naughty tree upsets woman

Halloween Tree by Ray Bradbury - Tree celebrates Halloween

Tree houses to superSEED buildings?

The Man Who Awoke (1933)by Lawrence Manning, Forest dwellers in the
future.

Pirates of venus. by Edgar Rice Burroughs features more forest dwellers
in the future.

Integral Trees by Larry Niven - even more tree dweller in the future

Protector by Larry Niven - Tree of Life provides aliens with yams.

World of Null-A by A.E Van Vogt - non-Aristotlian detective dwells in
trees in the future.

Hothouse by Brian Aldiss - tree dwellers in the future, too.

Deathworld by Harry Harrison features killer trees among forest dweller
in the future.

In other worlds by A. Attanasio features intelligent trees who draw
people through black holes to dwell in them in the future

Houses of Iszm by Jack Vance - secret of forest dwelling carefully
suppressed in the future.

Mother by Phillip Jose Farmer - man dwells inside sessile maternal tree
in the future

Lord of the Trees by Phillip Jose Farmer - Tarzan dwells in trees in
the present.

Genesis by Yahweh Elohim - Indian Giver gardner demonstrates the
violence inherent in the system when the fruits of the Tree of
Knowledge are consumed. He takes back the Tree of Life to prevent
equality, and maintain his authoritarian regime. Thus condemning the
descendants to dwell in trees in the future.

Next months topic will be "Probabilities and their breakdown".